Becoming a father

Watching your baby coming into the world is the most incredible experience. The midwives will give you the baby to hold. Some men feel afraid of hurting such a tiny creature. Don’t be. Hold the baby close to your body. Feel the softness of the head against your cheek.

Many fathers experience very strong emotions; some cry. It can be very difficult to go home and rest after such an intense experience, so think through what your needs might be at this time.

You may need to tell someone all about the birth before you can rest, but then sleep if you can. You need to recover from the birth too and, when the baby comes home (if the birth took place in hospital), you can expect broken nights for some time to come.

Bringing them home

You may find that relatives and friends are able to help in the early days so that your partner can rest and feed your baby. This is especially necessary after a difficult birth. However, you may live far from relatives and she may only have you. It’s a good idea to have a week or so off work if you can. Think about the following:

• too many visitors may exhaust her and interfere with this special time when you are learning about being parents and a family;
• you could look after the baby so she can get a good rest each day;
• take over the basic housework, but don’t feel you must keep the place spotless – no one should expect it;
• try to use this time to get to know your baby – you could learn to change nappies and bath your baby as well as cuddling and playing with him or her;