Coping alone

If you’re pregnant and on your own it’s even more important that there are people with whom you can share your feelings and who can offer you support. Sorting out problems, whether personal or medical, is often difficult when you are by yourself and it’s better to find someone to talk to rather than to let things get you down. You may find it encouraging to meet other mothers who have also gone through pregnancy on their own.

Gingerbread is a self-help organisation for one-parent families which has a network of local groups and can offer you information and advice. They will be able to put you in touch with other mothers in a similar situation if you wish.

If money is an immediate concern, read Rights and benefits for information on what you can claim and your employment rights. Your local social security office, Benefits Agency or local citizens’ advice bureau (CAB) will be able to give you more advice. If you have housing problems, contact your local CAB or your local housing advice centre. Ask for the address from your local authority at the town hall (in Northern Ireland contact the Northern Ireland Housing Executive).

The National Council for One Parent Families can also supply information on a range of topics from benefits to maintenance. There may be a local support group in your area. Ask your midwife or health visitor.

Don’t feel that, just because you don’t have a partner, you have to go to antenatal visits and cope with labour on your own. You have as much right as anyone else to be accompanied by the person you choose – a friend, sister, or perhaps your mother. Involve your ‘labour partner’ in birth classes if you can and let him or her know what you want from them. There may be antenatal classes in your area run especially for single women. Ask your midwife.